Why is it that I still can’t move on after wasting a lot of time?

By | August 30, 2015

First of all, I’m in the Philippines, we have different school system..

Ok during elementary I’m really smart in class, getting high grades, joined inter school competitions. 1st year in high school, my grades is still fine and again i’ve joined inter school competitions, joined basketball varsity. On my 2nd year in high school, I moved to my dad’s place in another city. 1st quarter my grades are still good, then the worst time of my life started after that. It’s my fault, i got addicted to an online game. My grade went down bad, and what sucks is that I still continue playing that, and my dad just allows me. I continue that for 2 years(wow i wasted a lot). Until my 4th year, i stopped it(not because i want my grades to be ok, i still want to play, but dont know what happened). I was raelly not thinking about my future that time and every time i go to bed and i think about it, i always cry, and wishing that i shouln’t have done that and/or should’ve done better things. Now I play guitar and singing as well, but I still can’t move one, I should be better in these things if i haven’t play those stupid games before. I’m moving to Toronto soon, which I’m going to take high school there again, because of different school systems. I want to study and do clubs/activities there, and I want to go to a good University there too. Which I’m hoping they won’t look on my grades here. And i hate my dad so much, if not for my mom who’s working in canada then we would be really poor now. And i hate it when my dad always keep saying about his stupid project”selling lands”real estate” earning 1 mil if they sell it. Wow he said that 4 years ago and still keep saying that, now what??? i want to tell him that he needs to shut the **** up and just don’t tell us. And he uses his “case” that he cant get a better job!! He finished accountancy he has masters in environment i think, but he doesn;t want to get a job!!! My mom pays for everything!! and when i answer back he would get mad and get a belt!! wow im alrady 18 and how i wish the next time he use that i want to fight back i dont care what will happen. I raelly want to go to canada now, but stillw aitng for that visa which is hopefully before june or july. so i can start summer school there.

and it sucks living here, you cant even get a job at fast food, because u need 2 years college degree.

what should i do? i just can’t move on with those past things happened
im sorry if it’s long and for the words and punctuations

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2 thoughts on “Why is it that I still can’t move on after wasting a lot of time?

  1. Julia

    pack a bag and run away… join the French Foreign Legion or the circus

  2. Country_Woman_TX

    First, I think you need someone to talk to. An adult counselor, teacher, friend or your mother. You’ve got to forgive yourself and realize that the blame game is just another trap that grabs you by the ankle and keeps you from moving (literally and figuratively).

    Next, you need counseling to break your addiction to that blasted game.

    Lastly, get away from your dead-beat abusive dad ASAP. (I know you’re working hard on this one.)

    God love you, Mikee, you’ve got a tough row to hoe, but you are young, strong and Intelligent. You’re going to land on your feet. Your dad is on his way out..what ever happens keep repeating to yourself…”The pleasure I’d get from fighting back wouldn’t be worth going to prison for. I’m not going to give him the satisfaction.” If you strike back, he wins.

    I’m going to be sending good thoughts and prayers to you, Mike. My heart goes out to you.

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