Guys: What is your take on this?

By | November 3, 2015

I meet this great guy online. The first time we chatted, we instant messaged each other for seven hours straight. Within the first week of talking he asked me out. We had a wonderful date and started talking on average three hours every night. As well as having chemistry, we got along on an intellectual and philosophical level. It seemed like a relationship that could easily turn serious. He always pursued me and was the one to initiate contact as well as taking things to the next level. He made plans for us to watch a movie coming out in October, suggested Halloween ideas, and introduced me to some of his friends. He even told me that he wanted me to meet his parents soon and went so far as to teach me a card game his family plays.

Fast forward three and a half weeks, I find out that he is moving out of state for an internship. Obviously shocked, I let him know that I’m pleased he found a job and hope we continue to see each other. He tells me that that continuing the relationship is impossible because his last long distance relationship ended up being more like pen pals than lovers. I tell him that we have an adult relationship, and we can make it work if we want to. I explained to him that it would not be the same as in that relationship because we are not teenagers and have the funds to fly and see each other. His family lives an hour away from me, so he will be returning to visit them anyway. I told him that if things progressed well, I would not be opposed to moving out there when I finish my degree in a year. He shoots me down and does not even consider it. I tell him ok and we agree to see each other until he leaves. The next day he says that he can not see because he can not control his feelings. He says that he is becoming attached to me and does not want to have anything stopping him from going. I get upset because we had agreed to see each other casually until he left, and he keeps changing his mind. He suggests that we keep speaking on the phone and remain friends. I tell him that is impossible for now because I need to time to adjust. I ask him, how is that different than us seeing each other in person? He says it is because he can control himself. He says he does not trust himself around me, because he finds me attractive and loses his emotional control when I’m near him.

So I’m very confused. I understand that we were dating less than a month and that we had not fully committed to each other. I also understand I’m not in love with him, but I know that I’m starting to fall in love with him. I understand logically why he would break things off, but I emotionally it does not make sense. He keeps repeating that he is attracted to me, that I did nothing wrong, and he wants me to stay in his life. He says that it is just him. Why would he let a relationship with so much potential go to waste? Was he messing with me? Is he confused and denying himself? Why would he make all these future plans with me and then not pursue a long distance relationship? Is he afraid because things we going do well? Also, it seems unfair that he wants to ignore that we were emotionally involved. He wants to keep talking to me like we used to and rely on me for emotional support. Is this normal? Do guys ever regret breaking up with girls?

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One thought on “Guys: What is your take on this?

  1. .

    give him some space… he met you at the wrong time. stop over thinking it

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